Art Or Biscuit Series

This is a new series called 'Art Or Biscuit?' where you have to guess whether the picture posted is an artwork or a biscuit. You can see the first picture underneath. Learn about the answer in the comment section!

 

Butcher Bart (Part I)

Today we are taking a moment to look back to March 6 of this year, when Bart "The Bruges Butcher" Maertens was named the best Belgian artisan butcher at the youthful age of 37. This came after he was already recognised by Europe as one of the very best butchers alive at that moment, as the Western Flemish beef specialist sent out 25 of his meat products to the jury, to win 19 golds and 6 silvers.

Life is good for the youngster, who is a descendant of Jan Breydel, not the famed medieval butcher who played an important role in the uprising against French King Philip the Fair (Philip Le Bel), but one of two other Jan Breydels living at the same time, also butchers, in particular the one who was imprisoned for poaching on the baron's hunting grounds. It's with the baron's meat that this Jan Breydel created his much famed stew, the very same recipe that Bart Maertens won the gold medal with.

Does this mean that Bart Maertens is a poacher? He is, self-proclaimed, stating to a journalist: "Of course I am. I couldn't have won the gold medal without poached meat from the baron's hunting grounds, just like my forefather Jan Breydel did to create this recipe. But nobody has ever caught me, so I ask you: am I truly a poacher or do I just say that I am?'

A group of philosophers is now discussing this question at this very moment. We'll let you know when they have come to a conclusion. Meanwhile, you can order Butcher Bart's famous stew through his e-mail.

Simon Says Series III

One of the more obscure historical figures is Simon the Zealot. He was one of the twelve apostles of Jesus Christ, but he is not prominently featured in the gospels. His name appears in lists of the apostles, but there are no detailed accounts of his actions or teachings.

Simon the Zealot is sometimes confused with other Simons in the Bible, but he is distinct due to his association with the Zealots, a Jewish political movement that sought to overthrow Roman rule in Judea. Despite his obscurity, his inclusion among the apostles suggests he played a significant role in the early Christian community.

Simon says lead your life with important contributions to mankind, without them being recorded.

McDonald's Kermis

There is a small town in Belgium which hosts a yearly farmer's festival, where you can eat local specialities and drink beer from early morning to late night. This festival has been booming for every year since the launch in the early 1970's. An extra party tent, more herring on the barbecue, more beer kegs, more horses to consecrate, a larger bonfire, a bigger pig head to auction ... the expansion has been limitless. That is, until a few months ago, when the biggest expansion plan ever blew up in their faces, when the committee of Salphen Kermis, as the folklore festival is named, put an offer out to buy the McDonald's fast food chain. Yes, the billionaire corporation received a giant sum from the Salphen Kermis committee to sell their company to the local farmers. Not just the Belgian franchises, the entire thing!

The committee already had a plan in place to keep the regular McDonald's customers coming into their favorite food chain, without having to learn new orders. So say you went to a McDonald's near you (which would then be named McSalphen's), you could still order a McChicken, a McFlurry or a Big Mac. Anything you already know! The only difference would be that if you ordered a McChicken, you would get a pot of mussles instead of a chicken burger. If you ordered a McFlurry, you would get a herring (a McFlurry Oreo would get you the semen of the herring). A Big Mac would be a pig foot. A McDonald's cheeseburger would be a regular hamburger with onion and ketchup, and fries would be a regular hamburger with onion and curry ketchup. (So if you ordered "fries without onions" you would get a hamburger with curry ketchup.) A Happy Meal would be two pancakes with sugar. A coke would be a regular beer. A coffee would be a Duvel. A Dr Pepper would be a jenever. This would cover the base menu.

At first the McDonald's board of directors reacted amused to the substantial offer, and slightly impressed that a small farmer's festival had managed to make so much money during all those years. But as the Salphen Kermis committee seemed to be serious about the offer, the McDonald's board started to feel insulted. So CEO Kempczinski, seeing an investing opportunity, struck back and has bought up Salphen Kermis, which will now be aptly named McDonald's Kermis. The full McDonald's menu will be available on that very day, with the Salphen Kermis menu offer switched around. So a pot of mussles will be a McChicken, a herring would get you a McFlurry, semen of the herring would get you an Oreo McFlurry, and so on.

The Salphen Kermis committee, now disbanded, reacted shocked in an unofficial statement, and told us they would threaten a big strike and big actions, if it weren't for the NDA they had signed for a lot of money. In their official response, they said they really looked forward to buying and eating the amazing American fast food early January.

We'll keep you updated on how it goes.  

Jommeke Kirillovic Karenina

Jommeke sales have unfortunately been dwindling for the past decade or so. The past few years especially, the situation has become this bad that it's looking like Belgium's friendliest comic book hero's financial worth will be forced into the red and in the near future perhaps even be suffering from cancellation.

Luckily, the Jommeke team has been as resilient and motivated as ever, not quite ready to toss in the towel just yet. The team has been meticulously looking for new ways to keep Zonnedorp's most adventurous boy relevant and very recently have even decided to take drastic measures, which will involve moving Jommeke from the start of 2026 into a new and more literary universe, that of Russia's most famed author Leo Tolstoy.

We were privileged to sit in on the latest meeting with the Jommeke team.

At first we were taken along for a presentation of the underlying themes of the Anna Karenina novel. As most fans of the novel know, there are many, including a deep delve into dealing with hypocrisy, jealousy, faith, fidelity, family, marriage, society, progress, carnal desire and passion, and the agrarian connection to land in contrast to the lifestyles of the city, of which, of course many Jommeke albums are already playing around with. Anatool's jealousy, Theofiel's and Marie's marriage, Jommeke's personal value on freedom and adventure contrasting that with his parents wish of wanting to raise him in a more conservative way, and of course the contrast of professor Gobelijn's technological inventions (and how technology can doom the world) with the small village agricultural lifestyle of Zonnedorp.

But most importantly, this meeting we attended happened to be one where one of the toughest decisions of the transition was made. Which character would Jommeke be playing as? For many months, the answer seemed obvious, that of Sheryozha, the eight year old son of Anna Karenina. This made a lot of sense, since Jommeke is about the same age as the curious little child. However, this was refuted in this latest meeting, due to the fact that Jommeke is actually supposed to be 10 years old, not 8, and the two year age difference proved too big of a gap for the Nys Family to approve on, so now instead there has been chosen to turn Jommeke into Tolstoy's portrayal of Vronsky, thus instead of her son, becoming Anna Karenina's former lover.

This does make sense as Vronsky is a cavalry officer and Jommeke has proven his riding skills in albums like Two Halve Rags, Jommeke In The Far West and even The Flag Of Lord Chester, where our straw roofed hero was found riding on the back of an ostrich!

These new upcoming Jommeke albums will start off with where Tolstoy left off our dear Vronsky (now Jommeke), where Jommeke will travel to Serbia to battle the Serbian uprising against the Turks along with a group of volunteers. Of course, we are all wondering if his dear friend Filliberke will be introduced as one of these volunteers (or maybe as his new adversary as one of the Turks, surely not!), or whether it will all be regular Russian characters taken from history books, maybe even different Tolstoy novels.

These are amazing times for us Jommeke fans!

I am highly excited.

A Monocle Home

A house in my street has this small circular window up in its side wall, near where the ceiling is located. It looks like a porthole found on ships, so I always figured the home owner is a retired sailor, who can often be found sitting at this window, staring at the blue sky and pretending it's the ocean, reminiscing about his former adventurous life at sea.

But a couple of days ago, I actually met and talked to the owner and he said that he is not a retired sailor at all. Instead he just installed the little window because it makes it look like his house is wearing a monocle and it cracks him up.

The moment he said it, of course I understood. And now I keep laughing each time I walk by his house. It's just so funny to me that it looks like his house is wearing a monocle. Why would a house need a monocle?! I love it.

He is now my favorite neighbor.

The Grieving British Countryside

When travelling abroad one always discovers new customs unique to that very region. During a recent trip to the British countryside, this was again the case, as I found these Brits had an interesting way of dealing with the grieving process.

On holiday, I always get up early and go for a little walk. On my very first walk, much to my surprise, every passerby wished me "A good mourning". Not knowing how to react the first two times, I ended up giving a simple yet polite head nod. But as the third passerby wished me "a good mourning", I decided to return the grieving wish. "A good mourning to you too, sir," after which he gracefully nodded and walked along. Of course, all this thinking about grief made me think of my grandfather, who had passed away many years before, but whom I still hadn't forgotten. So when the fourth person wished me a good mourning, I said: "Yes, I miss my grandfather very much." This person looked at me a bit funny and hurried along.

Immediately I realized the British are a folk who keep their emotions hidden deep inside. It's probably already a big deal for them to wish a good mourning to everyone they meet. So from then on, I decided to simply return the words and go on my way.

Another surprise was soon to be revealed, because as noon started, no-one wished me a good mourning anymore. It was just the regular good afternoon, good evening, good night. Apparently the British countryside mourns in the early hours of the day and then goes on with their day. That makes sense. It's not healthy to keep dwelling on lost loved ones.

Anyway, I just wanted to share this unique custom that I ended up enjoying very much!  

Bro Game X: Balleke

This is already bro game number ten. How time flies. Bro games are quick and easy. That makes them awesome.

In Balleke ("Little Ball") you and your bro toss a little ball back and forth. While you toss the ball, you can talk to each other, stay quiet, watch a movie or do whatever. You keep tossing back and forth until you decide to take a pause (for instance to eat chili), then if you decide the pause is over (for instance the chili has been eaten), you start once more.

If someone drops the ball, either bro can go pick it up. Said bro can start throwing from pick-up location, toss it on his way back, or he can move back to his original spot and only then continue. It's also okay to convince bystanders to pick up the ball for you, but after they hand over the ball (or toss it once) it's not okay to let them play along.

It's recommended to give a nod of appreciation whenever your bro throws the ball exactly to where the recipient bro's hand was located. There is something magical about not having to move your hand to catch a thrown ball. You will realize it as soon as it happens. It's also recommended to do a mutual nod of appreciation if the catcher catches the ball with only two fingers of the same hand (for example index and ring finger).

It is allowed to try different throwing motions or curves or speed. This can even enhance the fun.

You can roll the ball in your hand, or toss it back and forth between your own hands to make the other bro feel more eager to catch the upcoming ball, till the point where he starts complaining about wanting the ball. It is up to yourself to decide the fine line between teasing and throwing, just like it is up to the other bro to decide the fine line between complaining and laughing (preferably in "he he he"-style).

This tends to be an indoor game, but you can play outside if you like.

The ball in the picture is the official ball to play this game. Find a ball that works for you and your bro if you can't find an exact replica.

If you are unsure about the rules, you can send a mail to the judge for clarification. Contractually obliged, and yes he will sue if not mentioned, it's still David Galle.

Good luck!

Unexceptional Mario

Today, let's return to September 23rd, 1983, to a small coffee shop in Milan, where three young men were eating cannoli and drinking cappuccino. Sr Caporaso, Sr Malinconico and Sr Ricci were celebrating the videogame they were going to create. They had thought of a main character (an Italian plumber named Mario), his favorite dish (baked mushrooms with garlic), and what his mission was (to save a princess). They even had a name for the videogame: Unexceptional Mario.

They had talked about this all day and all three of them believed that, without a doubt, Unexceptional Mario could become the new hero of Italian videogame culture, maybe even the entire world! Just a simple unexceptional plumber, no more, no less, like any honest Italian worker you could find on any street, and this regular town hero would save the princess each and every time.

Laughing and talking about what they would do with all the money they were about to earn, when suddenly Sr Bellagamba, their boss, stormed into the coffee shop. "So here you boys are. You were already late this morning and now you're late again? Always talking and dreaming about things. These toilets aren't going to install themselves on this new apartment block. Back to work with you!"

And thus the young lads adjusted their overalls, got up and walked with Sr Bellagamba to the apartment building across the street where they were installing the lavatories. Their momentary dreams of glory again replaced with the harsh reality of the day.

About five minutes later, Mr Miyamoto, Mr Yamauchi and Mr Tezuka, who were on a business trip, walked into the very same coffee shop and sat down at the very same table where Sr Caporaso, Sr Malinconico and Sr Ricci had been sitting just earlier. As they sat down, Mr Yamauchi noticed a drawing of a little Italian plumber on one of the napkins, the name of the plumber written right underneath it.

Mr Miyamoto asked: "So this is where we'll have lunch, but where will we be having supper?"

"Mario," said Mr Yamauchi, reading the napkin.

"Supper Mario. Interesting," said Mr Tezuka.

One year later, a "p" was dropped. Another year later, Super Mario was launched, becoming the most well known videogame character across the world.

But of course, we all know that Super Mario is actually still Unexceptional Mario in our hearts, the true regular folk hero who arrives late for work, slacks off during lunch, prefers his mushrooms baked and with some garlic, but who also does his job when needed, because that's what people ask him to do!

And what about Sr Caporaso, Sr Malinconico and Sr Ricci? Just a day after their little meeting at the coffee shop, they saw a teen boy kicking a football around on the town square. He said his name was Paolo Maldini. He said he wanted to be a football player. They laughed and said: "Silly boy. Come with us, we'll call you Unexceptional Paolo, we'll teach you how to do real work."

The boy got scared and ran away with his ball to the soccer stadium, where he got put on the pitch just two days after they saw what he could do with a ball. And that is the story of how Sr Caporaso, Sr Malinconico and Sr Ricci unknowingly launched Super Mario's and Paolo Maldini's career in the span of two simple days. And the toilets? They had to never be replaced, because they were installed perfectly.

Wim Kiekens

This is Wim Kiekens (Wim Chickens, transl). He was a professional football player who fielded the pitch as a feared defender for the RWDM and Antwerp. At the end of his career he unfortunately became depressed. After five years though, he took matters into his own hands, started his own chicken farm and soon became one of the leading figures in the chicken business. He now leads a happy life with his wife and five children and five million chickens and his pet duck Charlie.

This made me think. Wouldn't it be a good idea for people to start taking jobs that are linked to their last name? Today's society has so many options that we become overwhelmed with all the possible ways to lead our life, leading to many mental health issues. Sometimes it can help to just take what is given to us and work from there.

The world would have a lot less rodeo clowns though. That's for sure.