Thursday, April 9, 2009

LEAVE IT TO THE PORNSTARS

Porn moves you should never use Part II: Deep Throat

Porn actors like to get their entire penises as far down the throats of their costars as they possibly can. The trend gained popularity with the '60s classic Deep Throat. In that stellar piece of porn history the main female character discovered that her clitoris was at the back of her throat, making her a medical anomaly and the most enthusiastic fellatio performer in the world. Unfortunately, nonfictional women's clitorises are where they should be, so deep-throating is not high on the list of things they love to do. If a deep-throat blow job is what you’re after, you must talk this over with your girl first. Shoving your d*ck unexpectedly down her throat will result in gagging and possibly a mess to clean up if she has a weak gag reflex. Porn starts often gag their partners on purpose, but it’s safe to say that doing that to most real women would get you cut off from any further pleasuring.

Porn moves you should never use Part III: Dick Slap

Male porn stars seem to have a compulsive need to slap their members against things. One possible explanation for the porn actor grabbing his shaft and banging it against a woman’s butt, breasts or face is that it helps him stay hard; essentially, acting as his own "fluffer" during the scene. Perhaps it could also be a method of degrading his partner by slapping her in the face with his powerful man member. No matter the reasoning behind it, this is a porn move you should never use in real life -- at least not without due warning and the right partner. If you’re having trouble staying hard, give yourself a few strokes with your hand or, better yet, ask her to help you out with her mouth.

3 comments:

parisfan said...

heyyy, isn't that paris hilton? She's not a pornstar. Take it off!!

retired caucasian porn star said...

I did a lot of dick slapping in my younger years... those midgets never knew what hit them!

a good looking midget said...

@ de ladiezz: deep throat on a midget is a lot less challenging, so it's a good idea to get started on me